A little fun for LJS fans
by Latalia
Summary: I know it's a no-no to load top ten types things unless under misc...but then no one would see this, so there's my argument, please don't freak and lecture me! (o.0)


You know you've been reading Lisa J. Smith books too much when:  
  
1.) You choose instead of important mid-term homework to write a list entitled 'You know you've been reading Lisa J. Smith when:' and put in a better effort than you can ever remember giving British Literature assignments  
  
2.) You completely and unabashedly believe in the soulmate principal  
  
3.) You can spot a night person a mile away, but wisely avoid approaching them about your nifty knowledge because you know damn good and well the consequences  
  
4.) You no longer despise the captain of your school's football team because he happens to have blonde hair and blue eyes and he's rather lanky in build…  
  
5.) The quarterback has now told you an access of a hundred times to stop calling him Ash and kicking him in the shins for no reason or he'll file restraint papers (Chip, not Ash, Chip)  
  
6.) You've gone through the entire student body list of your graduating class looking for names that resemble earthly things (that Trisha Moon girl better watch out because she can't fool you, you're on to her little secret)  
  
7.) You have this irresistible urge to guzzle down all things red and sticky, actually right now you're going through your sixth pop sickle and chugging down your ninth bottle of Code Red….  
  
8.) After you finish your meal you hurry to the bathroom to check out the keen red tint to your lips and teeth…  
  
9.) You snarl at yourself in the mirror and acquire a massive headache while trying to make your canine teeth grow (after many failed attempts you opt for just filing them to a point no matter how bad the pain)  
  
10.) You've outlawed pencils within a fifty foot radius of your person  
  
11.) You've become very weary and suspicious of any girl with a curvy figure and dark hair  
  
12.) You can't wait for the little blonde twin boys in your younger sibling's first grade class to grow up (the seed has already been planted, for their sixth birthday you binged to get them both roller blades and vintage rock shirts)  
  
13.) You beg to be a host family for the foreign exchange student transferring from Italy  
  
14.) You've never really had a fondness for techno music, but suddenly you spend entire paychecks buying out FYE of their newest Shadow stocks  
  
15.) You've taut yourself the Netherlands Skippy dance just to see what all the hub-bub is about  
  
16.) You're constantly telling your friend who happens to have red hair and green eyes to tell you immediately if she ever has pains near her pancreas (even though you have to explain what a pancreas is first)  
  
17.) You find guys that treat you worse than dirt very, very enticing especially if they have black hair, goldy eyes and act like a 'royal' snob (he and the quarterback are filing to have you put away, but they really don't mean it because they just want to save you from their lonely world full of secrets…right?)  
  
18.) You've started watching the Buffy/Angel reruns…again, for the third time….nuff said  
  
19.) The local librarians have added your name to a list behind the counter reserved for vampire junkies, sci-fi geeks, witch fans anonymous and Hannibal Lecter wannabes because of your checkout record  
  
20.) Your neighbor's cat had kittens, twelve of them, five males and seven females….you know exactly what to name them all but for some reason the neighbor thinks it's creepy to give kittens human names like Faye and Adam  
  
21.) Your DVD collection contains such fine titles as Blade, Interview with the Vampire, The Craft, An American Werewolf in Paris, and of course Dracula 2000  
  
22.) You begin flipping through celebrity photos on the web to find stars that personify the characters in the books according to your mental picture of them  
  
23.) You're actually thrilled/ecstatic when someone gives you a black rose  
  
24.) After you slated your infatuation with the night world you sucked in your best friend, ever so gently nudging her into insanity until after a month of forcing the little paper back books in her face she's convinced she must be a werewolf because of her size and odd silvery-brown hair…she hasn't been seen since her little naked run through the woods chasing that bunny  
  
25.) In turn that friend drags in another buddy to the dark side, your group now has three corners of the night world population covered because Ashley (the friend) has legally changed her name to Willow Earth and thinks she's a 'second type' witch  
  
26.) You purposely walk around in dark parts of the bad side of town, ever vigilant for a door knob protruding from a mural or graffiti  
  
27.) You and the clerk in the local game store get into a World War Three argument because the bastard won't show you where The Game is (what dose he mean 'what game?'...the Game!)  
  
28.) You just know some of the kinds in your anthropology class are Old Souls, no normal student knows that much about examining people from thousands of years ago  
  
29.) When someone offers to fix your makeup you can't understand what they mean, especially not when they shove a mirror at you and point to the strategic rose petal shaped birthmark markered on your cheek  
  
30.) You turn down offers from your classmates to go to Cancun this spring break, you have every intention of going to Las Vegas thanks  
  
31.) Every Halloween you become bummed out when people can't figure out your costume, not matter how awesome they are (no you are NOT a cave girl, you're Hana of the Three River people…duh!)  
  
32.) You've developed this nasty habit of riding your bad ass mo-ped through the school yard and parking it by the bike rack, pedestrians who stare are easy targets and the cops are tired of giving you tickets  
  
33.) Your boyfriend cut off your three year relationship because you keep trying to subtly change him, for the better of course, he'd look gorgeous with ice white hair and blue contacts but he's just so stubborn  
  
34.) You become offended and defend the Erklings with your now endless knowledge when around St. Patrick's Day people begin bantering about 'the wee folk' (we all know there's nothing wee about Julian now is there?)  
  
35.) You've taken up rock climbing in hopes of finding a pass beneath rocks that look like an ocean wave breaking  
  
36.) You and your werewolf friend have formed a permanent truce after she chased you with a pencil and you retaliated with a spoon in the middle of the hall way, students are still laughing about the incident but there was nothing funny about it  
  
37.) You've called every Smith listed in the California phone book, twice, just to make sure she's not screening her calls  
  
38.) You will now date guys who are at least four thousand years older than you and not a day younger (you and your werewolf friend are still single)  
  
39.) You've planned out names for your children according to night world guidelines  
  
40.) You bird watch, except you only seem to record crow, barn owl and hawk sightings  
  
41.) The only bookstore in town has blocked both your home and cell numbers because you call and ask if they have any more Night World titles in on an average of nine times a week  
  
42.) Most people are creeped out when they feel someone watching them, not you, in fact it gives you a 3.5 quake on the jollie-scale  
  
42.) And last…you can't help but notice that it's 2002 meaning somehow Circle Daybreak made it through the millennium and actually won against the bad type people, which in turn makes you wonder…why the hell won't anyone fill you in on what happened?!?! You need to know this stuff! Did Ash go back to Mare?! Did Jade and Mark turn out to be soulmates? Did Hannah go to collage? What happened after everyone left the Black Dawn kingdom? Why didn't Nick get any lovin?! DID ANYONE BOINK?!  
  
  
  
  
  
Author's comments~ Yes, why yes I am a dork (lol) The idea is to read and review, then add your own 'you know whens' to this list about the lovely Mrs. Smith and her books, have fun kiddies. Sanku much for putting up with this, normally these things annoy me but I tried hard to keep mine from being completely absent of humor (^__^;;;)  
  
Plus I have a horrible case of writer's block and I figured if I did something pointless I'd find my muse so there  
  
Now I'm inspired to do a song fic to the series (mwahaha) 


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